POP Pilates Evaluation Class

I taught my first POP Pilates class this last Saturday (5/14/16). It was for my evaluation video and wouldn’t you know it, most things went wrong. Of course.

The day of was the hardest to deal with the “bad” things because they were either in the moment or fresh after so my mind dwelt on them and magnified them beyond anything. It’s funny. No matter how rational I may try to think, it doesn’t squash the irrational emotions and thoughts.

I kept telling myself that it was fine, that it was a learning experience, that the important thing was that I kept going and didn’t give up, etc. Very rational. And I knew those things. I believed them. Except I wanted to pull my hair out and pound my head against a wall to get the memories out. I felt so horrible, like I had failed.

That’s not rational and it’s not true. I hadn’t failed and I knew that. But I couldn’t shake the feeling. Absolutely ridiculous. Yet there it was. The next day was better. I no longer felt that way. Rational thought had resumed its throne and irrational emotions had melted back into the crowd to be ruled.

Here’s what happened:

First, I had planned to do the class outside because I couldn’t find a place to do it indoors. Okay. No problem. I picked a Saturday that promised temps in the 70s (F) and sunny, clear skies; a time in the morning that would give people enough time to wake up and get there without having to get up too early and without it being too late that it would get hot. I bought a speaker and tested it outside my home to make sure it’d be loud enough and that it would work with my phone.

I created an event on Facebook to notify my Colorado POP Army and also gave an invitation to my son’s teacher along with another friend of mine who was (relatively) near. I made sure I’d have access to at least 2 modes of recording the class.

And of course I practiced, practiced, practiced the choreography. I even had my outfit picked out!

Everything was in place.

• location
• time
• technology
• people
• choreography memorization
• clothes

So naturally everything went wrong. 

First:

• weather – it was super cloudy, cold, and windy (typical CO promises sun but threatens rain)
• location – field was taken by kid’s football tournament of some sort (not mentioned on high school’s athletic’s activity schedule…I obviously should’ve checked elsewhere…of which I still do not know where) so we had to move to elsewhere
• acoustics – an open field does not give the same acoustics as trees (music was hard to hear)
• off-beat – I was constantly off-beat because I was nervous and couldn’t hear the music well
• flubbed/lost moves – I actually skipped part of an Earthquake move and added in extra Jackknives, along with losing my place in one song
• forgotten songs – twice I tried to skip ahead to the moves of a different track and had to start the track over with the correct workout
• bad intro – I forgot to introduce myself in the intro because everyone in the class already knew me
• false start – if you drop your phone, it disrupts the bluetooth connection with the speaker causing static so I started over after 1 minute to start fresh
• bad directions for basics – I forgot half my students were new to Pilates itself and didn’t give them instructions for moves before the class so that they had a hard time keeping and getting into correct form during the class
• technology – none of the cameras could record the entire class all at once and all but one were completely inappropriate for my needs so I didn’t bother using them at all
• sound – along with the music being hard to hear, so am I!

I can’t think of anything else right off the bat but isn’t all of that enough??

Even my outfit had to be changed to accommodate the cold but that wasn’t a big deal because it meant I got to use my new peony POPflex leggings. Woohoo! I ended up shedding my jacket after the first song as did half the others.

What went right:

• Everyone had a good time.

That’s really the most important thing. But here’s what else went right:

• sound – although it was hard to hear in both videos, the students could hear me and (I think) the music
• weather – IT DIDN’T RAIN!!!! and the sun eventually peeked out from the clouds for a bit
• temperature – we warmed up pretty quickly after we got started
• location – it was nice and quiet and secluded in our new spot; it was even noticeably warmer and less windy
• cues – while my cues could have been better, I was able to guide everyone through the class
• demonstrations/modifications – I demonstrated the hardest moves and gave directions on how to do them in between and during each song while also giving modifications
• laugh – I turned my mistakes into jokes (except the first big one when I was too panicky to do so) and made people laugh and relax
• attentive – I paid attention to my students and tried to correct their forms without singling them out (it didn’t work but at least I tried)
• smiling encouragement – always smiling, always encouraging (except when I was panicking)

Can’t think of anything else.

Despite so much going wrong, this was an excellent learning experience. While I may know the choreography by heart when I’m by myself cueing imaginary people, being in front of living people proved to be very different. I need/want more practice with living people. Unfortunately, I don’t have living people upon which to practice. But that’s okay. I’ll make do. And maybe I can get my son’s teacher and her daughter out again for another practice run next weekend. Or one of my son’s other teachers for that matter. Who knows?

Next time I’ll know that if I’m outside, I need more than one speaker. My husband and I have a new camcorder at Best Buy in our sights (and a tripod) in case I have to do another video. That may be a bummer money-wise, but we do enjoy playing with electronics (despite my abhorrence of all new technology…until I’ve learned to use it at which point my hate turns to love).

I’ve learned so much just from that one class. It was anything but a failed attempt, not when it’s given me so much to think about and learn.

And everyone had fun (or at least they told me they did). That’s really the important thing. No matter what I do wrong, if everyone has an enjoyable time while moving then I’ve done my job successfully.

Let’s hear it for my first POP Pilates guinea pig class!

Busy But Not Busy + Dealing With Stress

Busy but…yeah…not busy

So I’ve fallen super behind with not only this blog but also with my Writing World blog. I’ve been busy and yet…not so busy. Productive and yet horrendously lazy. How is this possible? I get things done but not nearly as many things as I could. At least the important things get done.

For example, the laundry gets done on a regular basis (we need clean clothes, right?) and food gets served for every meal. I pay bills (on time) and go to the library to pick up books and movies. I’m practicing the POP4 choreography and have set everything up for my first class.

How am I not productive? I still need to get the whole bank thing figured out with PayPal (issues with an old PayPal account that I’ve been ignoring for literally years). I’m practicing my verbal cues for POP4 but not actually exercising.

What…the…heck? I don’t know. It’s a mental/emotional thing at this point. I can’t explain it nor do I understand it. I have theories but since I’m not a psychologist, I can only accept the situation and deal with it. I’m good at accepting things without much question. While I’m not happy about it, I can only accept it and eventually move on.

Stress

And then there’s stress. I’m moving to another state at the end of this month so, naturally, I wanted to get my POP Pilates evaluation video completed before that. May 1st came and I was all, “OMG! What?? It’s already MAY??”

I stressed and stressed thinking about where I could do it and when and trying to get people to come. I kept telling myself it would be fine and everything would work out, but nothing was set up so I stressed. It’s what I do.

If I was prone to getting grey hair (which I’m not despite my family background), my hair would look like a skunk’s back. Finally on Monday I drove around to places asking for information etc. No anxiety or panic attacks. I breathed. I was fine. I wanted to scream and run away from everything.

Now, before you feel sorry for me or go “wtf is wrong with her,” please understand that this is just what I do. In cases like this, I always have my little freak out session. Actually, it doesn’t feel little. It feels like a whopping huge freak out session, but when compared with people with serious issues, my reactions are relatively minor. I know this and try to give myself pep talks while I breathe deeply and slowly to prevent hyperventilating.

I forced myself to go from place to place, talking with people I didn’t want to talk to in order to get things settled. Eventually I ordered myself to make a decision on when and where it would be.

Next I created an event on FB for it…but then couldn’t invite anyone. WHAT??!! I found out a day or two later that I created the event under an author page I hadn’t published yet. I alternately wanted to laugh and scream at myself. Laughing won out.

The moment I finished creating the page and fixing the event, my stress button was deactivated. Now I have no worries at all and I’m right as rain (I love rain by the way…just not exercising in it). Weird how that happens.

There are so many variables I can’t control here and that drives me insane. So I tell myself over and over that I have to accept that I can’t control everything and focus on what I can. When I’ve dealt with everything I can control, it’s out of my hands and the stress melts away.

Tomorrow one of my classmates will be doing her class and I’m so happy I’ll be able to go to that to help her out. It’ll be good to see how she does everything and it’ll be relaxing being able to listen and follow along, enjoying the ride instead of directing it myself. This will be the 2nd POP Pilates class I’ve ever taken so I’m looking forward to that.