What do you say when you’re supposed to be motivating others to exercise and get healthy but you can’t seem to stick with it yourself?

The Truth I guess.

What’s my truth? I’ve spent the last 2 weeks (ever since my migraine) doing nothing. I’ve skipped my friend’s Circuit Fusion classes. I’ve dumped my October Challenge. I’ve skipped my other friend’s Zumba classes. I’ve even skipped my son’s Zumba classes because I haven’t wanted to leave the house and move around. I did go for a family hike last weekend but I don’t count that as exercise because it was our weekly family outing. That’s just extra fun stuff that I should be doing on a normal basis anyway. Added benefits.

Why have I been doing diddly squat?

I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to be healthy and not being able to eat the stuff I want. I want pizza! But it’s a no-go because it makes me sick. I want brownies! No-go for the same reasons. I lose weight to get healthy and I am healthy now. But because of it I can’t eat gluten or dairy products. Yet everywhere I go there are delicious recipes full of gluten and dairy. I’m going to a potluck later today and I had to bake gluten/dairy-free blueberry muffins just so I know I’ll be able to eat something without getting bloated or sick there. I have a ton of healthy and delicious meal recipes that I used to eat that I could’ve made but I can’t eat them anymore. I currently have no meal recipes that would work for a potluck so I went with muffins.

I’m not annoyed or irritated by this anymore. I’m just very tired.

Do I feel guilty for not exercising? Surprisingly, no. All I want to eat is junk food (I don’t but it’s what I want). Food is so boring lately. So I’ve been indulging in chocolate almond milk and dark chocolate bars. Not huge amounts or anything. Pistachios are my newest indulgence. They’re so yummy. At least those are healthy. Do I feel guilty when I indulge in the chocolate? Again, I have to say I don’t.

Enjoying life is not a crime. It’s not something to feel guilty for. Living your life over-indulging isn’t a good thing but periods of indulgence isn’t something to feel guilty about I think. Who am I to judge someone else’s decisions?

Ick! This post is partially depressing. Maybe this confession is enough to pull me out of the mud and get me going again for this last week of October.


About Katie St. John-Shin

I believe in living life and not letting it pass you by. I mean, come on, if you really want to do something but don't have the courage to do it so you let the opportunity disappear, you may regret it for the rest of your life. How can you know what you're capable of unless you go for it? Like every writer, I naturally plan on becoming world-famous (not really). I love reading, writing, fitness, coffee, watching my favorite movies/shows, listening to music, and trying new things even if they're sometimes terrifying. I'm a writer, a group fitness instructor, a personal trainer, and a nutter for doing all of the above.

Posted on October 27, 2013, in Personal and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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